


On The Edge

by behindskylines (deanlovessammymorethanpie)



Category: Bandom, Panic! at the Disco
Genre: Established Relationship, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 21:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 420
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/996732
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/deanlovessammymorethanpie/pseuds/behindskylines
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Ryan is so close to the edge, and there is really only one person who can bring him back</p>
            </blockquote>





	On The Edge

**Author's Note:**

> Originally posted on April 7, 2008 on livejournal under the name himmerethwen (an lj username I used previously).

‘Everyone smiles with that invisible gun to their head.’

Ryan saw this once while reading a Chuck Palahniuk novel. Probably _Fight Club_ or _Lullaby_. He can’t remember where now, but that’s not what matters. He remembered. It was stuck somewhere deep in his mind and had come up now, as he was standing on the edge of the cliff, a few thousand feet from the cabin. He toed the edge of the world, the loose earth crumbling and falling away from the bottom of his shoe, marked with age and colored by Brendon’s infamous purple Sharpie. He thought about Brendon, about his stupid _face_ and the way he loved it. He thought about Spencer and Jon, how much they meant to him, even if he didn’t show it the way he knew he should. Spence, he knew, would be devastated, as Ryan would have been too, had he been Spencer, had he just lost his best friend, the Robin to his Batman. Jon would cry, deep sobs and gasps. Ryan hated seeing him cry that hard, had only seen it once, and didn’t want to see it again, didn’t want to be the cause of it. 

Brendon, he could only imagine how Brendon would take it. He would probably become catatonic, silent. He could see Brendon’s face, the over-dramatic frown and puppy dog eyes toned down, no expression for once. That hurt him as much as the prospect of Jon crying had.

He loved Brendon, loved all of them, but Brendon, he was different. 

“Ryan?” a tentative voice called from down the trail, careful not to startle him.

He turned and Brendon was there, face closed, arms cross, shielding himself, and approaching him cautiously. They had been arguing over the songs again, and usually, it was Brendon, quick with emotions, who ran away, face red and obscenities streaming. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, quiet.

Ryan smiled, nodded slowly and held his hand out. Brendon walked forward and pulled Ryan into his arms, and away from the edge. 

Holding him close, Brendon rubbed his hands up and down Ryan’s back. “It’s alright. It will be alright.”

Sometimes, Ryan just needed to hear Brendon say it. He trusted Brendon. He trusted Brendon to be his voice, and he knew that no matter how much they argued, or how much he pushed, Brendon could handle it. Brendon was the only person he wanted to be his voice. He raised his head, kissed Brendon softly, nodded. It would be alright. It had to be.

**Author's Note:**

> As always, thanks for reading! <3


End file.
